Regardless of age (the youngest so far is 4 hours old and the oldest 88 years) everyone who comes into my office gets their Nervous System fully tested. And when we sit down to go through what these functional tests show I always ask adults how they define stress for themselves. It allows us to start on the same page with what we mean when we say stress. 

Because if you think about it for a moment….

Stress is different for all of us. And it’s also the same. 

While we likely all agree that some events cause stress the amount and how we each react can vary - a lot.

There are two big reasons for this: 

(1) Stress is subjective, or perceived.

For example, person A may love going on roller coasters and person B hates it. So if I were to say alright today we’re all going on a gigantic roller coaster you can easily see why it may cause different reactions in person A and person B. (Of course we all know that person A is bananas right?)

(2) We all have different capacities for handling stress.

Capacity is simply how much room you have in your Nervous System to handle stress.

The Great News?

While you’ll never be able to control traffic, world events, what other people do and say and on and on, you can focus on what’s in your control. Both these variables, perception and especially capacity, are within your control even when life events may not be.

But before we jump into how you can take back control it’s necessary to have a working definition of stress. We need to know what we’re talking about in order to face it head-on (this is why it’s my number one question for people in my office). 


As we said from traffic to health scares to work deadlines, life brings plenty of stressful moments. Importantly, there is a difference between a moment of stress and something longer than a moment. 

In a nutshell: a moment of stress can be good for you, longer than a moment just isn’t.

Here’s what I mean. 

Acute vs. Chronic Stress

You know the old saying, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"? 

Stress is often talked about as being inherently bad and something to avoid at all costs if you want to be happy and healthy. However, manageable stress levels are actually healthy for your system and can motivate you and inspire you to take action. Imagine you have a presentation to give - the stress of public speaking may drive you to plan, prepare and practice, ultimately serving your best interest when you deliver an amazing, standing-ovation performance.

Moments of stress that are short-lived and situational are what we call acute stress or a word you may be hearing a lot of these days in the wellness sphere - hormetic. Hormesis is when short, intermittent bursts of specific stressors trigger a cascade of cellular processes that enhance your overall health, slow aging, and make you more resilient to future stress (physical, chemical and emotional). 

Basically ….

Hormesis = Small doses of stress that make you stronger

The most obvious example? Exercise.

Exercise = stressing your body to make it stronger.

There's one big caveat, though—in order for you to reap the benefits from stress, you need to feel like the stressor is manageable and that you're in control.

If you feel helpless, the stressor becomes toxic at any level.

(This is where perception and capacity come in and we’ll dive back into that in a moment.)

Soooooo if small amounts of in-control momentary stress are good then large amounts of lingering out-of-control stress must be bad, right?

Yup.

And I’m sure this isn’t a surprise. This is where the ‘Stress the Silent Killer’ headlines come from (though I would argue your body is not silent at all, it is always telling you how you’re doing, a state-of-the-union that never lies).

Enter chronic stress, not tied to a particular moment, instead, it’s a significant persistent problem or a combination of interchangeable problems over a period of time.

Generally, chronic stress is anything lasting longer than 4 weeks (though I would argue 2 weeks so perhaps we settle in the middle on 3?). 

The longer you live with chronic stress, the more it drains your resources (capacity) and makes every other stress in life feel harder (perception).

Chronic stress symptoms vary from person to person and often fall into the following categories, all supporting arguments for stress being a not-so-silent problem….

Cognitive

  • brain fog, cloudy thinking 

  • difficulty concentrating

  • weaker memory 

  • struggling with task planning and completion

  • forgetting things like routes and locations

Emotional

  • mood changes 

  • irritability

  • withdrawing socially 

  • phobias

  • generalized anxiety

  • post-traumatic stress

  • obsessive-compulsive disorder

  • hastens the onset of depression and bipolar symptoms

Physical

  • low energy

  • appetite changes

  • body aches

  • insomnia

  • headaches

  • stomach troubles

  • a rapid heart rate 

  • elevated blood pressure

  • lowered immune system, making it more difficult to fight off illness

  • high blood pressure

  • heart disease

  • weight gain (especially around the belly)

  • type 2 diabetes

  • slow healing

Behavioural 

  • alcohol overuse

  • drug overuse

  • overdoing anything that numbs you out - over Netflixing/shopping/gambling

  • over or under-eating

  • smoking 

Now that we’re on the same page and before you think there’s no hope ….

You can’t change the fact that life will throw some curveballs that aren’t easy and don’t neatly wrap up quickly.

Here’s what you can improve, it’s in  your control to:

  • Be aware of your perception of stress

  • Improve your capacity to handle stress when your perceived stress is moderate or high

(1) Perceived Stress

The truth is that stress is somewhat subjective.

Two people could have the exact same life for a couple of months (in theory) and have different responses to what’s happening, one feeling low stress and the other moderate or even high. It’s important to take stock and be 100% honest with yourself

(1) review the symptoms of stress in your body and

(2) use something like this perceived stress test. 

Why both? 

When people come into my practice they present in two ways: some come in and tell me, ‘I’m so stressed!’ They realize how stressed they are.

Some come in not recognizing they are suffering from stress, but they feel the symptoms, for example, weekly headaches, recurring injuries or shortness of breath even though they’re seemingly healthy and exercise etc…(recent actual people).

**Note: in case you feel it is a character flaw to feel the impact of stress or you wonder if you are the only one….

⅓ of adults polled reported that their stress is “completely overwhelming” most days

76% said they have experienced health impacts from stress in the past month including headache, fatigue, and anxiety

In fact, a Gallup Global Emotions survey polled adults in 122 countries and found stress and worry at the highest level in the history of Gallup’s tracking

Interesting aside - in my office, we look at how your Nervous System is functioning and without getting too into the weeds, I have lowered all my baseline scores for testing. Adults I’ve dropped from 85-80 and kids from 90-85.

(PSA: it’s been a stressful few years for everyone, be gentle with yourself.)

(2) Stress Capacity/Resilience

Now here’s where you take control of things - your capacity to handle stress especially when your perceived stress is moderate to high. (Friendly reminder it matters how you perceive it so check in with yourself.) 

Now unless you have literally never heard anything about stress - in which case my guess is you live somewhere the world somehow hasn’t reached until right now so your stress may be quite manageable - you likely know the good news is your capacity is something you do have some control over. 

But how?

When life is stressful, self-care is no longer a nice to have.

It’s essential to increase your capacity to handle and adapt in healthy ways to stress.  

It’s time to take inventory - press pause and take an honest look at your day-to-day life. If you keep going 24/7 at 120 miles an hour, you're never going to get a handle on stress.

Reflect on how you are feeling physically and mentally and identify the stressors that may be contributing (e.g., being on your phone constantly, skimping on sleep, taking on too many things).

When we really take stock most of us (all of us?) are operating at a lowered capacity. 

If you imagine you are a cup and at the rim of the cup is what I jokingly refer to as the level of stress where your head blows off your body (note: this is not going to happen, it just feels that way sometimes) what we want to do is move you as far as possible away from the edge of the cup - the further you are from the edge the more capacity you have for life’s inevitable stressful events. 

Here are the most important questions to ask yourself if you suspect that stress may be playing a role in you feeling and functioning less great than you want to, like most everyone who has lived through a worldwide pandemic recently (hint hint). 

When you know life is stressful because you’ve noticed the effects in your body and/or you’ve done the perceived stress scale I suggest starting with the basics.

Ask yourself these questions: 

  1. Without sleep, you cannot think clearly – are you getting sufficient sleep?

  2. Exercise is one of the best cures for stress – are you prioritizing moving your body?

  3. Our brain is maintained by the food we eat – are you eating a (relatively) balanced and varied diet?

  4. Healthy relationships are vital for our wellbeing – are you making time for the people you care about?

  5. Self-expression enriches who we are and how we live – are you giving the focus you would like to the things you are passionate about?

  6. Community and spirituality ground who we are and how we live – how can you make yourself more open to community and spirituality?

(Cool Science: we can also actually measure your capacity using functional tests and then re-measure to see it increasing when you take steps to support your body and your resilience) 

Let’s tie this all together with a real-life case study that will hopefully inspire you.

CASE STUDY

Meet Cheryl. 

She came into my office - she was actually carried in by her husband - after ‘throwing out’ her back. (aside: though we use this term freely rest assured nothing, I repeat, NOTHING is actually ever ‘thrown out’. I promise).

She had been bending over to pick up a Kleenex she dropped when out of nowhere (her words) her back ‘went out’ (see above nothing in your back goes ‘out’ either).

What does this have to do with stress you may be wondering?

Well, Cheryl would have agreed with you, she said she had minimal stress. Now I’m sure we can all agree that the weight of a Kleenex is unlikely to have caused her muscles to spasm in her lower back to the point she couldn’t walk.

This is where we need to start putting together the picture of what was going on if we want to make any sort of lasting change - meaning it’s pretty straightforward to get out of acute pain like Cheryl had but how do we stop it from becoming a pattern, or chronic like an unwelcome regular visitor. 

So remember Cheryl’s minimal stress?

This is what it looked like.

Her mother was in long-term care after a lengthy illness and a fall. She was dividing her time between caring for her mum intensively for the last 18 months and her 3 teenage kids. Her youngest at 14 was in a competitive sport that took a lot of family time and resources. Her husband had been laid off and was having a hard time (understandably) with that surprise and with what to do next. Oh, and her dog, Pancake (seriously cutest name ever?) had just torn his ACL. Huh. Easy Breezy no?

Remember how I mentioned that some people realize they are struggling under a mountain of stress and some people’s bodies let them know? Guess which category Cheryl was in lol. She firmly felt it was mostly the Kleenex. So we got her walking again and once she was upright we had a chat about stress.

And I asked the questions: 

Are you getting sufficient sleep?

No. Cheryl was lucky to get a full 6 hours and even that was interrupted by her husband snoring and her waking up mind racing in the middle of the night.

Are you prioritizing moving your body?

Sort of. She was a long-distance runner and was still getting out regularly but feeling absolutely exhausted after. 

Are you eating a (relatively) balanced and varied diet?

Yes. Cheryl’s husband was an amazing chef and ensured everyone ate healthy, delicious food. 

Are you making time for the people you care about?

Understandably she had very little time for people outside her family during this season of life and she was missing her friend circle.

Are you giving the focus you would like to the things you are passionate about?

No. Though life was very full, Cheryl used to make time every Thursday evening to sing in a choir with her two closest friends. They had been encouraging her to take the 90 minutes for herself for months.

How can you make yourself more open to community & spirituality?

Cheryl was an active member of her church and considered her spirituality to be an integral part of who she was. 

Based on her answers can you see a few things Cheryl could do on top of her Chiropractic Care to better handle the stress of her life that was not going anywhere anytime soon? 

Here’s what she did. 

Maybe not forever but for the immediate high-demand time she started sleeping in a different room from her husband. This was a tough one for her and so she started with just 3 nights. Turns out they both slept much better and she started getting an extra hour and sometimes a bit more a night. Sleep has a massive impact on how your body can handle stress and by her progress exam (after 12 adjustments) she was feeling far more rested.  

And even though Cheryl loved going for her runs it was obvious they weren’t loving her back. Why? Because she was feeling exhausted after she ran, pretty straightforward. So yes, physical movement helps with stress … to a point when it then actually starts to add to it. Instead of nearly every day, she switched to running shorter distances 3 days a week and walking the rest of the days. Walking allowed her some much-needed solo time and she also went twice a week with two of her neighbourhood friends she’d been missing. It actually took the same amount of time her run usually did. 

She also prioritized Thursday choir evenings for 90 minutes (depending on what was going on with her mum).

And guess what? Life didn’t fall apart. In fact, she started to feel like herself again.

Let’s look at a ‘before adjustments/after adjustments’ using one of her Nervous System scans. This one shows how much tension you’re holding in your body, where you are leaking energy, and where your body is losing valuable stress-fighting capacity. 

(hint: coloured bars aren’t what we want to see … )

Sometimes it takes asking some questions and yes, there will be things you cannot change BUT there will be things you can.

Remember when it comes to stress you want to know 3 things:

(1) how you’re consciously perceiving it

(2) how you’re unconsciously - aka how your body is - perceiving it

(3) what you can do to increase your Nervous System’s capacity to handle it. 

Your answers will point you in possible directions you can go to better support your body and raise your capacity. You can choose from a never-ending list of capacity-increasing ideas, here are a few you’ve heard and maybe even tried worth revisiting. 

A few possibilities from the never-ending list of stress-capacity-increasing actions:

(1) Self-care

As much as you may love a good bubble bath, nail appointment etc.. true self-care often involves some degree of discipline. Think things like: 

  • Prioritizing sleep

  • Exercising 

  • Eating well 

In fact, when you go through the 6 questions you’ll have a much better idea of what you need to get through a stressful season.

(2) Mindfulness and Meditation Practices 

I know, I know. Ugh.

AND

It really does work.

Meditation doesn’t need to be elaborate. I recommend Headspace - 10 minutes for 10 days (it’s free and I’m including a link for a 30-day trial, you don’t have to sign up for this it just gives you full use of the app for 30 days and if you don’t want it, remember to cancel before you are billed). 

If apps are not your thing you can try sitting up in your chair with your hands on top of your knees. Breathe in and out, you can even say to yourself, “I breathe in peace, I breathe out stress” on each breath.

When it comes to mindfulness, choose one thing you do every day to do with your full attention. Instead of rushing through take the time to notice all the sensations of the task at hand. This simple slowing down astonishingly actually does make a difference as you go about the rest of your day. 

(3) Audit your to-do list.

Instead of adding MORE items to your to-do list, take a look at what's already on your list. Pencil in your "why" and your "how it makes you feel." Why is that project on your to-do list? Is this a task you love or not so much? True, we can't only do things we love ALL the time but take notice of the things that you do enjoy. This will help you look forward to the tasks that you love to do and make sure to get them into your daily schedule. 

It will also hopefully show you a few tasks you can remove from your list. And if there are things you can’t give up can you outsource them? Do you need to clean your house, go to the grocery store, cook all your meals? Taking an honest inventory can help you see where you may be needed to reprioritize. For me, during one particularly busy season, this looked like cutting out TV at night so I could get in a post-dinner walk and meal prep. 

(4) Put down the screens.

Take a break from scrolling when you can and stay away from things like the TV news. I recently attended a neuroscience seminar and every. single. speaker. agreed they do not watch the news because of the negative impact it has on brain health. Good enough for me.

And of course, social media not only creates unrealistic expectations of life but also causes your brain to release high amounts of dopamine, without much effort. This can make normal daily tasks much harder to do, as more work is required to get the same feeling than simply scrolling on your phone does. They are addictive and one way we numb out our Nervous System (read more about this here).

(5) Look at your relationship with caffeine and alcohol.

This is tough but caffeine is not helping you feel more relaxed. In small amounts, it can give your system a quick boost so be honest when you look at your relationship with caffeine. If you are reliant on caffeine to function it’s time to start looking at reducing your intake.

This is part of a much larger conversation but simply gauge your response to the idea of not drinking. If you have a strong reaction is it possible that you are relying too much on alcohol to help you relax?

(6) Consider adding supplements to help you manage stress.

It’s always best to work with a professional on what you specifically need and we have the very best here at Vibrant Living, you can even book online! While you wait for your appointment, in general, you can’t go wrong with: 

  • Magnesium

  • B-vitamin Complex with L-Theanine

  • Ashwagandha

  • Holy basil 

These are all great overall strategies to increase your capacity over time.

The thing is they take T I M E to feel an impact. What about in the moment when you’re feeling stressed?

Without going into too much depth (I highly encourage you to read more here if you haven’t already or if you need a refresher about the different states of Nervous System regulation) you want to understand how your Nervous System is responding.

It may be different than someone else.

Meaning, YOUR strategy to decrease perceived stress and simultaneously increase your capacity to adapt, your resilience, will be what YOU need at the moment, not what someone else needs. (Aside: if you’re a parent it can be extra helpful to recognize the different states in your kiddos to guide them back towards regulation.)

Ok as I said not too much depth but quickly, sometimes when you encounter a stressor (physical, chemical, and/or emotional) you’ll feel your heart rate go up, your energy increase, and maybe you even feel irritable, jittery and/or restless. You’re in a Sympathethetic Dominant state, think too much gas pedal or feeling like you’ve had waaaay too much caffeine.

And sometimes, it’s the exact opposite. You feel all the energy drain out of your body, you want to curl into a ball and cover your head, maybe sleep for 100 years or so. You’re in a Parasympathetic Dominant state (specifically dorsal - again read here if this sounds completely foreign to you). This would be like the emergency brake being yanked up or like you need ALL the caffeine possible, start an IV please.

So can you see how one state may need something different than the other to move back to Nervous System regulation?

Alright here are some state-dependent suggestions….

Sympathetic Dominant Regulation

~ Calm your system 

(VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: These will ACTIVATE your Parasympathetic Nervous System so you can see why it’s important to know which state you’re actually in before you do anything, we can measure this if you are unsure or if you notice what you think will help actually makes you feel worse when you try it).

1. Yawning and Sighing

Have a nice big yawn. Lift your hands above your head and stretch outwards and upwards. Sigh on the exhale (the noisier the better), then maybe gently shake your body a bit, letting go of any tension. Repeat!

2.  Butterfly Hug

Hug yourself. Wrap your arms around your body and place each hand on your opposite shoulder. Pat one shoulder and then the other until you feel calmer.

Find a soothing body hold that feels good to you, a few that are tried and tested:

  • one hand on your forehead one on the back of your head

  • one hand over your heart one on your belly

  • hands on either side of your face

  • one hand on your heart one on the back of your head

3. Valsalva Maneuver

Exhale against a closed airway by keeping your mouth closed and pinching your nose while trying to breathe out, hold for 10-15 seconds. (Do not do this if you are experiencing any degree of Sciatica)

4. Walking

This will depend on you and what feels good, you don’t want to be in a high-intensity state right now but you might feel too gentle a stroll just increases your agitation. Your goal is to move your body enough to calm your system but not too much releasing MORE stress hormones. This is not the time for an aggressive workout. After your walk, you should feel more calm, centred and relaxed not more wired or exhausted. 

5. Scream

Ever have those moments when you Just. Need. To. Scream?

Permission to Do it. Seriously.

When you get home, grab a pillow, place it strategically to mute the sound, and SCREAM. You can also do this in your car (preferably when driving solo). 

6. Touch

Gently massage in an up and downward motion the right side of your throat and/or massage the skin behind your right ear by placing your finger there and gently rubbing up and then down.

And great news for those of us who love lip balm - touching your lips will also help to calm your body.

7. Now for 3 ‘huh, who would’ve thoughts’ to try ….

  1. Humming or making a “vooooooo” or “om” sound stimulates the vocal cords and facilitates long, slow exhalation.

  2. Practice prosody, the act of speaking slowly, rhythmically, and melodically as if you’re soothing a young child or pet.

  3. Gargle with water until your eyes start to water a bit.

8. 4-7-8- Breathing

(also great for reducing anxiety, getting to sleep, and managing cravings)

Empty your lungs. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds deep down in the belly. Hold your breath for 7 seconds. Exhale through pursed lips making a ‘whoosh’ sound for 8 seconds. Repeat for a few minutes. (Don’t worry if you don’t get the timing to exact seconds, the ratio between breaths is what’s important here.)

9. Progressive Body Relaxation

Move through your body, bit by bit, tensing muscles as you breathe in and relaxing them as you breathe out.

Breathe in, tensing the first muscle group tightly (but not to the point of pain) and hold for 3-5 seconds. Breathe out, completely relaxing the muscle group suddenly (not gradually). Notice the difference as you wait 10 to 20 seconds for the next muscle group. Repeat with the next muscle group moving through your entire body.


Recommended Order of Muscle Relaxation: 

  • Feet, Legs, Core, Hands, Arms, Jaw, Face … don’t try to tense your neck, instead simply raising your shoulders towards your ears (yup that’s why we refer to high stress posture as wearing your shoulders like earrings) will work as you tense your arms. And to tense your face open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out as hard as you can - looks ridiculous but works!

10. Cold Exposure

Cold exposure has been shown to activate your vagus nerve by stimulating the dive reflex (lowers your Sympathetic Nervous System response). 

  • Splash cold water on your face

  • Take a cold shower

  • Hold an ice pack against your face and the middle of your forehead

  • Submerge your mouth and tongue with a cold beverage or ice

  • Go outside with lighter clothing

Parasympathetic Dominant Regulation

~ Energize your system 

(VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: These will ACTIVATE your Sympathetic Nervous System so you can see why it’s important to know which state you’re actually in before you do anything, we can measure this if you are unsure or if you notice what you think will help actually makes you feel worse when you try it).

1. Rant to Release - vocal or written

When your emotions have escalated, your higher brain functioning goes offline and you’re in your survival lower brain centers. If you have a trusted person to assist you in regaining control of your feelings, try a quick rant. Not only are you releasing emotion it also serves to connect you to someone you can trust (connection is also a BIG Nervous System regulator). 

If that’s not possible in the moment simply writing out what you’re feeling in your body can be helpful - you’re not trying to get to a solution, you’re simply observing how you’re feeling. And the movement of pen on paper, fingers on keyboard, or iPen on iPad will help to get your body moving.

2. Sit up straight

Study after study has shown that shifting your posture will shift your mood. Why? Your posture impacts your Nervous System, sitting up straighter or standing with your arms raised in a victory stance will help to raise your Nervous System tone, getting you ready to take on the tasks in front of you.

3. Organize something.

Your desk, workspace, a kitchen cabinet. Tackle one small area, and tidy up. Try not to go on a BIG cleaning spree. Just organize one area (preferably the one you're in) and you'll notice your mind start to declutter and your energy will increase.

4. Higher intensity movement

This is when you want to really move, scratch that you don’t WANT to move but it’s the exact right time to move. Run, skip, dance, power yoga, bike …  whatever you like to do to get your heart rate pumping. Do it. Even a few minutes will help. Nike’s right … just do it.

5. Scribble 

Art is a great outlet – but you seriously don’t need the stress of creating a masterpiece right now. Alternative? Just scribble. Grab a pen, pencil, crayon and let it all out. Scribble until you can’t scribble anymore. Those lines? That’s your stress falling out onto the page. The messier the better! There are no rules (isn’t that refreshing?) 

6. Do something fun 

  • Engage in positive social relationships.

  • Laugh out loud. 

  • Play with animals or children.

  • Do something you enjoy that gets you moving.

7. Tap down the front and back of your body

Using the palms of your hands firmly tap down the front of your arms, your torso and your legs then repeat up the back.

Do this a few times in a row. 

8. Shake it Out

There is a rising awareness that trauma and intense emotions get stored in the body. It’s not always enough to logically work our way through thought loops or rationalize anxiety symptoms—we often have to go to the somatic or body level.

Dancing or shaking releases somatic tension and stagnant energy from the body and nervous system. Open up your favourite playlist on Spotify as you spend a couple of minutes shaking out the body and limbs. 

9. Punch a pillow

Get your energy up by taking what you’re feeling out on a few pillows. You might be surprised how good this feels. 

10. Warning -  IF YOU HATE SWEARING SKIP THIS PLEASE: 

SWEAR: Did you know that swearing can help to lower stress levels and even alleviate pain? Not suggesting you swear at people, but if you need a release and energy boost, having a good old swear session in your own company – or with people whose sensibilities aren’t easily offended – can work wonders. You might even want to check out this totally out-of-the-box guided meditation: ‘F*ck That: An Honest Meditation’.

Truth …

Stress is going to happen, that you can’t control. What you can control is knowing when it’s impacting your health - physical and mental (I would argue these are the same thing, physical health is mental health and vice versa) and taking steps to increase your capacity or resiliency over time. And through understanding how your Nervous System is responding in the moment being better able to support yourself.

As always if you feel like you could use some support or are curious to know how your Nervous System is handling life these days come on into the office, we can actually measure that ; )

Another truth:

You are worth your own care and attention.

Without question.

Always 🤍